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Re: an adventure in self exploration
What's the issue, her taking lessons or you paying for them? Either way you should never do something that doesn't feel right for you (and that seems pretty obvious it is in this case). Refuse to pay, if she goes ahead and does it anyway you gotta decide if she's still a girl you'd want to settle with. Not because she defied you, but because there is too much of a conflict of personality.
Just be a man. Let your woman do what she wants, then decide if you like it or not. There's plenty to go around.
Re: an adventure in self exploration
Hmmm, sounds flakey. As others have said, depends if/how much you trust her, and how long you been together. You're taking her daughter to school, so I hope you've been seeing her for a while now. Otherwise, I'd recommend you've moved on too quickly.
On the level, it sounds ideal "Yeahh my girls like to strip & is taking pole dancing classes now too.. Wooo-hoooo!!". But when the realities of life, emotion, trust, and insecurity set in, all that goes out the window. I guess just be honest with yourself, and if you would not want her to go down that road, express that to her and see how she reacts. A friend of mine dated a girl who reminds of yours, so I can kinda envision who this chick is & what kinda shit she probably puts you thru.