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Re: The Screwedtape Letters, Ch. 1: No new music, ever
New music? That you haven't heard before?
Oh, silly, silly little plebe! What amusing little conniptions and fantasies your small, little, limited, low-born minds do conjure! Everybody knows, no, no, scratch that, everybody and even their most distant and unpleasant relations know the one immutable, inscrutable, undeniable, un-non-absolutely undefiable truthy truthy in the world that exists is that you simply cannot release new music files without first embarking on a proper tour. I mean, goodness. It is, plaintively, what we call, the brass tacks.
Why?
Oh, how dare you even question. Such is not your place - questioning, poking, prodding, your place is listening and obeying. But alas, we are feeling generous today, yes we are. You see, it is simple economics, dollars and cents. Dollars and sense, both of which evade your grubby little, dirty little paws. You see, economics. We sell The Great New Music Tour and the dullards-err, the fans, yes, the fans, the loyal fans, the handsomest audience you can possibly imagine comes rushing through the gates like livestock to the slaughter. And then, come the glorious secondary and ancillary revenues - the soda pop commercials, the fast food advertisements, the product-tie ins, it's enough to make a grown man cry.
What's that?
I said, what is that, you pathetic little worm? That the Great One, never to be questioned, never to be refused, doesn't engage in these sorts of behaviors and considers them beneath the Weight of His Great Greatness? That it's immaterial because 90% of the setlist will never, ever change lest there be pitchforks and torches and cats and dogs running together in the streets? Hmm, I must admit, I had not thought of this before. Who put you up to this... argumentation? It is queer and most confusing. We must resume the policy of non-questioning and obeying at once. Yes, that will put a stop to all this unpleasant feeling.
You're saying the album that we release hardly has a chance in hell at catching on in mass markets anyway? And even if it did, that there is no shelf life to classic works of art? Bolderdash! You see... you must see. The truth, yes, the truth. The truth that this is fine! Yes, this is fine and I have no doubts, no doubts whatsoever! Everyone knows! You cannot release music before touring! It is madness, it is suicide, it is evil!
What do you mean, everything is an excuse?
So you're telling me that if the band continues the previous tour intended for the year of our Lord 2020, that it merely serves as an additional rationalization that no new music should be delivered for years - that the general public requires a break, a breather, a sabbatical from the world of the roses and the guns? No, no, no! This is not right. You are wrong, with your logic puzzles and cunning turns of phrase.
The snake's tail has not been eaten. It cannot. The snake's tail can never be eaten. It is simply not possible.
Please resume your mindless consumption.
Orangewood
