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Re: How to deal with...
...knowing you're going to lose a pet. My wife and I don't have kids (I know some of you think THANK GOD). We treat our pets as our babies. I just found out our 17 year-old cat has a mass in his chest. Without spending hundreds of dollars on tests, we won't know exactly what it is, but we know it's not normal and it's big. I can't justify spending hundreds of dollars on a 17 year-old cat no matter how much I love him because the reality is that even if we knew what it was, it's likely there's no treatment for it. The vet thinks he might have 6 months left. He's been around for a long time and we've known this day was coming eventually, but knowing it's coming and KNOWING it's coming are two different things. He's acting normal for now, so (hopefully) no immediate decision needs to be made, but that day is coming sooner rather than later. We've had pets for a long time and lost them over the years, but I can't remember a situation like this where every time I look at him I'm going to think about how little time he has left.
I have to tell my wife. I haven't told her yet because she has to drive home from work and I don't want her thinking about it while she's driving the hour to get home. She too knows it's coming, but it's just different when it's real vs something you know will happen eventually. SHe's going to be devastated. I know the years of unconditional love are fantastic, but letting them go is so hard; letting them go over a period of time may be a nightmare. Not sure how I am going to make it through this...
Thanks for listening...no response needed. This is therapeutic to just get it off my chest somewhere that isn't facebook or something like that where people I haven't talked to for decades in some cases will tell me how sorry they are.
Re: How to deal with...
Sorry to hear this buzz. My chihuahua Taco passed away 2 winters ago living an awesome 16 years. He was breaking down a bit, slower, lost his vision the last year+. Around Thanksgiving he took a bit of a turn, just seemed less inspired. Then about 2 weeks later I came home on a Friday & he seemed a bit lethargic. I know it sounds extreme but he was 16 & aging, so they were minor slips by this point. Anyway by Sunday night I knew. I'd accepted that I would take him to the vet Monday, and had accepted putting him down if need be. It was somewhat of a revelation, like 'Oh, this is happening' (again, I'd kinda foresaw it, but like you said it's different when k-n-o-w-i-n-g). I was just sitting with him and petting him, telling him how good he'd been, how great he was, remembering all the good times, the great times, the moments etc, and I cried. We slept the night & he was in my bed, I was happy, hopefully he was, cause we usually did when he was younger. I remember petting him, then, later in the night as I was beginning to dose off, letting go. In a way, I think that was the moment life left him, uggghhh. I hope he knows how great he was to me. I woke up, and he was gone, it was hard.
Cool moment, I went to the vet for his cremation I suppose, I honestly wasn't sure what to do next at this point. I teared up a bit along the way. Monday morning, everyone off to work, here one of the best parts of my life just died. I pulled into the parking lot, and some awful song was on. Hated it. So I pressed the CD button & in my car was a Stones greatest hits album, and Let's Spend The Night Together came on. It was just perfect, and made me smile. I listened to it in full, then, once it ended, carried him in his bed inside.
It isn't easy. The fourth day was the hardest. Then, I still thought about him every day. Then time goes on, and your life moves on. You never really get over it, it's been a year & a half for me. (No new dog yet, I told myself I'd give it a year, myb next year), but you just continue on with life. It has a way of not waiting for you to recover.
My advice man, enjoy all the moments with that cat. Make it happy, feed it the good canned cat food, spoil it with tuna if you can. Treat it like a queen, or princess. Surprise it with happiness as best you can. Even just one time you'll notice affects her, and she might show gratitude & signs of happiness for all you've done for her her whole life. Maybe you'll come to accept her fate. And look on the bright side, you do get alot of time to come to terms with it and say goodbye. In a way, maybe almost too much time, but I gotta be honest with you, there's really no such thing.
Re: How to deal with...
My cat is 9, he's got a mass in his sinuses and I know it's not going to be good. I've bonded with him more than any other cat. I lost another cat a couple years ago that really hurt. Jack sneezes a lot, you can hear it when he breathes. I've been told three different things by three different vets, I've been giving him antibiotics and steroids, but at this point, I want him comfortable. I appreciate all the time I have with him. My dad's death devastated me, so I think I'm better prepared for it now.
You're in my thoughts, buzz.
Re: How to deal with...
It's terrible. I lost a yellow lab last summer. Died right in our living room, kids there and all. Never knew what was wrong with her. She just stopped eating. Had her about 10 years. I never forget watching her go. Just, poof, gone. She had been sick about 2 weeks, then the end was sudden.
Now, today my wife tells me our black lab that we've had for about 8 years is very sick.
It's cliche, but you gotta remember all the great times you had with your cat and enjoy what time is left. A drawn-out goodbye would be difficult and not one I've dealt with as a pet owner. Most have gone suddenly. You'll know when the time is right if you have to consider euthanasia.
Take care man ....
Re: How to deal with...
My wife and i had a cat ... Meridian ...we had to put him down when he was 16...aounds like a similar sitiaution...we could have paid for treatment but he wasnt going to get better
it was one of the hardest things we ever had to do...and i was a mess afterwards for days
I feel for u Buzz ... but now u have to think about his quality of life ...
- Smoking Guns
- Rep: 330
Re: How to deal with...
I have pet insurance for my dog. Hopefully I am never faced with a financial decision because I have the insurance. My dog is all I have. I will be in pain a long time when he passes.
Sorry to hear about your Cat, Buzz.
Re: How to deal with...
20 weeks later and he's been slowly deteriorating. I have to make an appointment tomorrow which I expect will end up being to put him to sleep. He'd been doing pretty well until the last week or so. Still seems okay other than clear weight loss, but he's not really eating much now. He may not be "suffering" but he's clearly not well. We'll see what the vet says, but I think we know what the answer is going to be.
Our other cat had major surgery a month or so ago. She has cancer that has a high rate of recurrence. They were able to remove everything, but it's likely that we will be dealing with this again at some point. We planned to downsize in terms of the number of pets, but the goal was to do it gradually. Not sure how this is going to go if it happens this quickly...
Re: How to deal with...
Over the summer my dog had a mast cell tumor
I got it removed but didnt get it tested for cancer ... i cant afford chemo so if it comes back i will have to put her down
Just the thought makes me sad...but she seems fine since i had it taken off (knock on wood)
