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Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Girls are a weird creature, and yes we shouldn't generalize, but for the most part this has stayed pretty true. For some weird reason, i'm still trying to find the answer too, why the hell women will stick with a man, they can't talk to, they can't connect with, that doesn't provide them with what they want... but they get a guy friend who's all of these things, and they simply call him a "good friend", and never think of him in a serious manner.
It is quite the mystery isn't it? I don't fully understand why this happens myself. I have my theories, but I don't feel any of them fully explain it.
And guys do the same thing to girls, which doesn't help anyone. 
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Acquiesce wrote:strat0 wrote:Yes but we're still teens. And like you said not all of them are like that, and I know for a fact she's not like that.
But she IS like that. If she wasn't like that she wouldn't have stayed with him as long as she did, nevermind giving him another chance. She's obviously someone with issues and you'd be better off with finding another girl.
No she's not. He hasn't always been an asshole. he used to be pretty kind and a cool guy. Then about 4 months ago he just kinda changed and became a real douche...
The reason they were together so long is because everything was good and they had a good relationship for over a year...
She still remained with him after he became an asshole and now she is going back to him. As Axlin08 pointed out, his threatening suicide was just a power play to get her to feel sorry for him so she would take him back. What he did is beyond fucked up and is a clear sign he is never really going to change and yet she is going back to a clearly unhealthy relationship. Stop being so blind.
I'm not trying to say she is a bad person, but you'd really be better off in the end removing yourself from the situation and finding a girl without the baggage and more self-respect.
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Girls are a weird creature, and yes we shouldn't generalize, but for the most part this has stayed pretty true. For some weird reason, i'm still trying to find the answer too, why the hell women will stick with a man, they can't talk to, they can't connect with, that doesn't provide them with what they want... but they get a guy friend who's all of these things, and they simply call him a "good friend", and never think of him in a serious manner.
It is quite the mystery isn't it? I don't fully understand why this happens myself. I have my theories, but I don't feel any of them fully explain it.
And guys do the same thing to girls, which doesn't help anyone.
Well it's more of the possessive thing that fucks guys up.
My best friend, right now, is post a divorce, and right now he's all "fuck women" and all that shit, and he's picking up women in bars and sleeping with them, and never calling them back... but at the exact same time, that "fuck 'em, and leave 'em" girl he hooked up with, if I were to go pick her up, and fuck her, he'd be like WTF? And get all defensive.
It's like an alpha dog marking it's territory. That's the reason strat's friend got all bent out of shape.
With women it seems to be more of emotional thing.
Why, for the life of me, will I never understand why it is seemingly passed down from generation to generation to generation of females, that they can "change a man". They'll fix 'em. They'll break him. Like he's some Wild Stallion. Well, no you won't. Never will happen, never has happened, and if you THINK it's happened (for all the ladies out there), he's just telling you what you want to hear, and doing what he wants behind your back, I assure you.
The key to success is actually finding someone you're capatible with. Not finding the guy that makes your beaver moist, and then trying to mold him into the perfect man. You're more delusional than those cats that thought Chinese Democracy was gonna go 6x platinum in two months, and still be #1 on Billboard.
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
The suicide thing may be a ploy, but he has had alot of issues with depression over the years, which makes me wonder if he really is or not. That's one of the things that drew them together is that they made each other happy and broke each other out of depression.
And I know you guys say just abandon them and leave them to their own demise, but I'm going to at least stick by her. I know this probably sounds more out of love, but that's the way I am with all my close friends. I'll give you a chance. Two or three even. But Don't think if things do go bad with them again I won't be reminding her on a daily basis how stupid she is for letting anyone treat her like that.
But I've been there for both through thick and thin, through depression and whatever else, so I'll stay there.
And as for the one's talking about alterior motives through all I've helped her through and all the advice I've given her I never, not once, encouraged or mentioned a breakup. If she mentioned it all I would tell her is "do what you feel you need to, whatever will make you a happier person"
And Saikan about the people changing thing. I've known him for about 10 years and he never was like this. I don't know what made him change like that. Maybe He's depressed or the anger from his mom leaving him finally got to him. I honestly don't know, but I think unless he gets help It'll only get worse. He has alot of anger issues. I don't see him as becoming physically abusive but f he does...then that's another story.
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Well and that's the good thing strat, not encouraging a breakup.
Girls typically have a habit, of when you give them the advice of breaking up, then when they regret it, instead of blaming the situation or the guy they broke up with, they focus all of their anger and blame on you, and you suddenly become the bad guy. They'll become convinced you didn't have their best interest at heart, you just encourged a breakup to get into their pants. You don't care about them at all.
It's amazing how perceptive, and philosophical women become about the male psyche, when they get away from men they let abuse them on a daily basis. As soon as their away from the house they become a brain surgeon, but by 6 o'clock they're ducking punches.
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Of course you could always try a totally different strategy. You could actually play the same game yourself. Treat the girl a bit shitty yourself, stop being so supportive and understanding, ignore her, tell her your too busy to catch up etc. You know just generally treat her like a piece of dirt - well maybe not quite that bad, but keep her at arms length and make it loud and clear that there are plenty of other girls out there that are lining up for your attention.
If it's ever gonna happen, the minute she thinks she can't have you, that's when she'll want you..... (at the moment she probably knows that if she decides to change things and gives you the nod, she can have you. You want her to think she can't).
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Of course you could always try a totally different strategy. You could actually play the same game yourself. Treat the girl a bit shitty yourself, stop being so supportive and understanding, ignore her, tell her your too busy to catch up etc. You know just generally treat her like a piece of dirt - well maybe not quite that bad, but keep her at arms length and make it loud and clear that there are plenty of other girls out there that are lining up for your attention.
If it's ever gonna happen, the minute she thinks she can't have you, that's when she'll want you..... (at the moment she probably knows that if she decides to change things and gives you the nod, she can have you. You want her to think she can't).
That won't work becuase as I've said she's not that type...
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Watch your friends anger dude. I know first hand what anger can do to someone and those around them. I was and still am to a point a very angry person. Not so much now but when I was a little younger I was out of control and full of anger. I've been locked up, threw someone through glass sliding doors, ruined friendships, destroyed a relationship with the one girl who actually saw me for me and other shit I don't want to go on about. But anger is IMO the worst demon of all.
Re: Am I Moving in on his Girl?
Aussie wrote:Of course you could always try a totally different strategy. You could actually play the same game yourself. Treat the girl a bit shitty yourself, stop being so supportive and understanding, ignore her, tell her your too busy to catch up etc. You know just generally treat her like a piece of dirt - well maybe not quite that bad, but keep her at arms length and make it loud and clear that there are plenty of other girls out there that are lining up for your attention.
If it's ever gonna happen, the minute she thinks she can't have you, that's when she'll want you..... (at the moment she probably knows that if she decides to change things and gives you the nod, she can have you. You want her to think she can't).
That won't work becuase as I've said she's not that type...
I hate to say this, but judging from what you have told us "she sounds exactly like this type".
It's not an intentional decision on her part, she probably doesn't know that she is doing this subconciously but she is being drawn to the asshole type. Whether it's to save him, change him or whatever. When she finally breaks up with this guy she will go for another guy that's a wanker too. You will be able to see it, her friends will, everyone will - but her.
I hope I'm wrong and she's not like that, or if she is she breaks the cycle, some girls do. I have seen girls that after years going in and out of shitty relationships finally somehow break that cycle and start seeing someone completely different (well completly different from any past guy they have seen) - then they often marry them.
