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Re: The Randomness Thread
I always thought it would be good to have a rewind button for time/real life.
Also a reset button where you could start over again & make different decisions to see how it plays out, like an actual rpg except real life.
Me too. Even if not real, just watch how things would have went down.
Key moments for me:
14- great year and a fucked up one. I started smoking cigs and drugs in the fall.
19- I was in college, dad died, dropped out, wasted almost 65k on girls, drugs, and cars
23- Best year of my life since childhood but also made some fucked up decisions
27- Fell into the abyss of a pill bottle that I wouldn't climb out of until I was 40.
Life's too short!
Indeed. 
Re: The Randomness Thread
Up to greet the dawn.. It never arrived, got rained off.. Tho haven't been to bed yet so technically I'm not up to greet the dawn. I just haven't been down yet.
No sleep last night for first time in years. Not lookin forward to today's activities.. Used to be could pass off a night without sleep on being a surly teenager, or early 20's when it's expected of you.. Now I've no excuse worthy to cover up.. I got high as fuck & stayed up playing videogames & my brain wouldn't shut down, still hasn't. Headed for a crash sometime soon this morning/forenoon.. Gonna enjoy that sleep when it arrives. Richly deserved it'll be.. Sorely missed too. When you miss that natural window for your regular sleep I find it's hard to get that time back, to get into the usual pattern again. A bit like jetlag, prob should try & wait it out til tonight.. Will see tho, if my brain settles & I get the chance to have a power nap I'll take it..
Re: The Randomness Thread
Terrible nights sleep last night, was up & about to greet the dawn today again. Another problem to add to the list it seems.. Time is running out fast & don't see any window of opportunity to recover fully.. My body can't handle the abuse anymore..
Re: The Randomness Thread
There's definitely something wrong with me.
I risk losing everything I hold dear to me on a whim or a dumb idea. I've no idea why I do it, why I take advantage/take for granted those people, just to go behind their backs & do stupid/outrageous stuff they wouldn't understand. Hell I don't even understand why I do the things I do anymore.
I make commitments then act like they're an inconvenience & treat them with a total disrespect.
This behaviour can't go on. Another night/day with no sleep. Either my body's gonna give in or my wallet'll run dry.. It's like a race to see what I can destroy more of.
This summer has just been a spiral of solipsism that has taken a rather more sinister & deeper edge this past month & this past week. Even I am outraged at my own behaviour & questioning what I'm doin here. The amount of money I've blown in the first half of this month & what I've squandered it on, is gross & deplorable.. It's gonna be a long weekend.. Hopefully a fun one tho..
Re: The Randomness Thread
Are u hitting a mini midlife crisis? Last attempt to hold onto younger days?
I hit one of those a few years ago...just doing shit that I knew was dumb...but couldn't help myself ... ended up being a wreck and needed some serious downtime to recoup
Gotta try and own up and take some responsibility...learn where the line is and where /when to draw it
Re: The Randomness Thread
A few years ago I started buying lottery tickets.
I'm thinking to myself now about all the money I would have saved if I never started.
