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Re: Pms
I've been with my wife for 12 years and I tell her when she fucks up. She sure tells me when I do, so I'm all for being fair.
tbh thats pretty much my wife and i as well like i said i was just busting DCKs balls
it was one of the first things we laid out on the table, if your pissed tell me if i fuck up tell me cuz i'm gonna do the same and i cant stand head games get all the shit out and move on, nothing popping up again blown out of proportion 6 months down the road or whatever....its worked for us living together for 14 years so far (married seven of that)
Re: Pms
That's it in a nutshell. She used to play games - not wearing the engagement ring, silent treatment, etc when she'd get mad. I said fuck that...you don't get to choose when you're engaged. Either you're in or you're out. And if something bothers you enough to be mad, not talking about it solves nothing and makes the problem worse. If you're pissed, that's ok. Tell me you're pissed and why. Let's figure out how to fix it instead of hoping it goes away on its own.
Re: Pms
^ Amen! As I tell my wife, if you have a problem just come straight out and tell me right now so we can deal with it and then move on. There is nothing worse than the same old scenario:
"What's wrong"?
"Nothing"! (said in a tone that clearly tells you otherwise followed by shithouse behaviour).
Eventually it comes out that there was something wrong. Well if there's something wrong I wanna get it out straight away, not in half an hour, half a day or the next day. Let's deal with it NOW so we can move on and it doesn't fuck up the rest of the day. Nothing pisses me off more than that.
Re: Pms
Oh yeah, now we're on the right page. A fuck up needs to be addressed. I fucked up at work the other day, told her and she said "you seriously fucked that up" and I fully agreed. I did.
A friend of mine used to date a girl that suddenly went into silent treatment..when my friend asked her what was up, she said "nothing" and refused to talk to him. Then, at times, she also started to flat out cry.
Still nothing was wrong though, if you asked her.
Quite happy they broke up, she was quite a piece of hard labour.
Re: Pms
Bad stuff those hormones...
My wife sometimes work shifts for my mother at a local school. As a weeks holiday is coming up for my wife and her college schedules, she was asked by my mother if she could work any that specific week. My wife said yes, and my mother took it as a sign she could sign her up for some shifts. She asked like..last Saturday. My mother calls her today and tells her about the shifts she got, Tuesday and Thursday. In the meantime however, my wife got an important writing task from college. She's not going to college for lectures, but she still has a task to do. She then can't take both shifts which puts my mother in a bad spot as she had worked out the schedules and now needs to re-do and so on. After she got off the phone with my mother, I told my wife that once committed to a job, even if the days were not finalized until today (the week in question is next week) it's not ideal to back out of previously arrangements with work, no matter if they were a tad vague. Of course, the college task is very important.
So I basically told her to take notice of this, and make sure it didn't happen again.
She went raving mad. Oh my. Raving mad I say. Maaad.
Hmm... Just my take on how your reaction could have had less backlash - maybe don't tell your wife to "take notice" of anything. Just tell her that you can see how that would cause a problem for your Mom, and she will understand why you're bringing it up. There is no need for a lecture. The last thing I want to hear from Russ (or anyone else for that matter) after I have screwed up is a lecture. I'm sure it wasn't without thought that she turned away the shift(s).
And oh my dear, this isn't PMS. This is just plain ol' hormones.
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